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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743706">I Look to You (Hold Onto You)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_Tasha/pseuds/lil_Tasha'>lil_Tasha</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Juliet Higgins needs a Hug, Miggy - Freeform, Whump, her boys are there for her</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:55:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_Tasha/pseuds/lil_Tasha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Higgins was a very busy woman, so that meant she would sometimes forget things. But what Magnum hadn’t been able to understand was how she couldn’t remember her last meal or if she even ate at all.</p><p>Post S2 Miggy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Juliet Higgins &amp; Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV, Juliet Higgins/Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Look to You (Hold Onto You)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*casually ignores any medical inaccuracies for the sake of fictional purposes*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You still haven’t touched the sandwich I made you,” the PI commented, leaning against the desk in his partner’s study.</p><p> </p><p>Higgins’ response was delayed and after a couple of moments, she finally tore her eyes away from her laptop screen, and looked up at him. “Oh. I, uh, I’ve been busy.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what you said the last three times I came in here.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Three times? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“And it’s almost nine.”</p><p> </p><p>Her head tilted to one side. <em> Have I really been in here for seven hours straight? </em> she thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright, Higgy?” he asked her.</p><p> </p><p>The majordomo shut her laptop. “I’m fine, Magnum,” she replied, fixing him with a look, and pushing herself to her feet.</p><p> </p><p>Magnum didn’t miss the way her fingers tightened around the edge of the desk or the way her eyebrows furrowed the way he knew they did when she masked pain or discomfort.</p><p> </p><p>She could practically sense him wanting to question her once more, so she told him, “If you ask me again, I <em> will </em> throw this sandwich at you.”</p><p> </p><p>He held back a sigh. “Have you eaten at all today?”</p><p> </p><p>She opened her mouth to answer, except she honestly wasn’t even sure when she last ate. Besides her three<em> —or maybe it had been four— </em>cups of coffee throughout the day, Higgins actually didn’t remember eating any food.</p><p> </p><p>“Higgy?”</p><p> </p><p>The world dipped beneath her foot when she turned and took a step and Magnum nearly missed catching her. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything, only helped her to steady herself before slowly relinquishing his hold on her waist. And much to his surprise, he never heard an <em> I’m fine </em>. She simply mumbled a “thank you,” then walked off.</p><p> </p><p>Higgins was a very busy woman, so that meant she would sometimes forget things. But what Magnum hadn’t been able to understand was how she couldn’t remember her last meal or if she even ate. Eating was an important part of one’s day, at least he believed it to be. He tried to assure himself that due to how responsible he knew her to be, she would take care of herself, and eat.</p><p> </p><p>Right?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Wrong. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Turned out that Juliet Higgins and self care were two things that didn’t fuse and the following day, the PI found himself giving her more than one gentle reminder to eat. Though none of those reminders appeared to do much to actually convince her to eat because <em> I’m busy, Magnum </em> or <em> I have a lot of work to do </em> were her favorite counters.</p><p> </p><p>“Please tell me that is not the same sandwich from yesterday,” she muttered tiredly, thumbs rubbing her temples as she stared blearily at the plate to her left.</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled. “No, I made you a new one just now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a pause.</p><p> </p><p>“But you’re not hungry?”</p><p> </p><p>She shrugged. “I’ll eat something later. Don’t worry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m already worried, Higgy.”</p><p> </p><p>And she visibly cringed at that. Juliet and emotions, specifically concern for her wellbeing, was just another thing she didn’t mix with.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t need to be babied, Magnum.” Though her voice was void of the bite he was certain she intended it to have. “I can take care of myself.”</p><p> </p><p>He bit his comment back because <em> could she really though? </em> From what he had seen over the past couple of days, it almost seemed—</p><p> </p><p>Higgins squinted at him. “I know what you’re thinking. And if you dare to say it….”</p><p> </p><p>Magnum held his hands up. “I’m not.” He then reached for the plate and said, “If you at least drink a smoothie, I’ll leave you alone.”</p><p> </p><p>She briefly considered his offer. If this would get him off of her ass, who was she to tell him no? “Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Taking the plate, he disappeared into the kitchen. Higgins listened, with her aching head held between her hands, as the blender turned on. Her brain quickly blocked the noise out and she didn’t register when it turned off. The PI returned to her study, a glass containing a green smoothie in hand, and placed it on the desk next to her elbow.</p><p> </p><p>Higgins lifted her head and gave him a small smile. “Thank you,” she said gratefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>And staying true to his word, Magnum stopped bothering her. That is until he went to ask her a question four hours later and discovered her in the bathroom leaning over the toilet.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t….I don’t know what happened,” she murmured, voice watery, and eyes stinging. “My stomach hurt and I just couldn’t….I couldn’t keep it down.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, it’s alright,” he whispered, arms opening. “We can try something else.</p><p> </p><p>She leaned into his side and gently shook her head. “No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Higgy….”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t eat.” <em> I don’t want to throw up again. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Higgins spent the remainder of the day in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. Magnum had two Tylenol and some water ready by the second time she was conscious an adequate amount and coaxed her through a series of deep breaths at her comment that she felt her stomach turning. Nightmares frequently startled her awake and each time, his calming voice and tender touch greeted her.</p><p> </p><p>A quarter to midnight, Magnum’s phone rang and he fumbled pulling it from his pocket to answer it and avoid disturbing his partner. From his spot near his mistress’ feet, Apollo glared at him as he snuck out of her room and quietly closed the door behind himself.</p><p> </p><p><em> Hey, TM, </em> Rick commented. <em> TC and I haven’t seen you in a while. You good? </em></p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I am. Higgy isn’t feeling too great though, so I’ve been in the main house with her.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Oh. Does she need anything? </em> his friend asked, unease lacing his voice. <em> Do you need anything? </em></p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. Her stress levels are high right now and she’s not really eating or drinking anything because even water makes her nauseous. She can’t keep anything down,” Magnum explained. “I convinced her to drink a kale smoothie earlier, but she threw it up.”</p><p> </p><p>TC questioned, <em> How’s she doing now? </em></p><p> </p><p>“She’s been sleeping on and off since about four. Nightmares here and there.”</p><p> </p><p><em> You think we should give Doctor Kawai a call? </em> TC asked hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>Rick added, <em> She can’t go on like this much longer. </em></p><p> </p><p>Despite his friends not being able to see it, Magnum nodded. “I know. I’m past concerned at this point, but I also don’t want to push that on her.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We get that. But when was the last time you actually saw her eat something? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Alright,” he conceded. “I’ll give Kawai a call in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p><em> And keep us in the loop, </em> Rick stated, leaving zero room for disagreement.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Mahalo, brother, </em> both men said.</p><p> </p><p>Magnum ended the call and silenced his phone as he headed back to Higgins’ room.</p><p> </p><p>“T’mas?”</p><p> </p><p>The PI met her half-lidded eyes. “It’s me,” he confirmed softly, walking over to her bedside. “You okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“My st’mach hurts.”</p><p> </p><p>And her honesty alarmed him because Juliet Higgins seldom admitted to being in pain.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you want to try and drink a little water?”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes closed.</p><p> </p><p>“Higgy?”</p><p> </p><p>“I jus’ wanna sleep ‘n you hold me,” she mumbled drowsily.</p><p> </p><p>Unable to deny his partner her request, Magnum climbed onto the mattress behind her, and wrapped his arms around her middle. Higgins’ body relaxed enough for her to fall and stay asleep the rest of the night.</p><p> </p><p>Zeus and Apollo’s frantic barking woke him, followed by the sound of her retching. Magnum rushed to the bathroom and the lads went silent at his arrival. Clearly, she wasn’t okay, so he didn’t waste his breath on the useless question. Dread sliced through him at the sight of blood in the toilet and he immediately dialled Doctor Kawai to inform her of the situation, then sent Rick and TC a text to meet him at the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>Higgins’ lack of fuss regarding the mention of going to the hospital amplified his nerves. Carefully, he lifted her and carried her out to the Ferrari and hurriedly drove them to their destination. Kawai and an additional doctor received them at the entrance and Magnum laid his comatose partner on the gurney presented to him. They whisked her away and he was sent to the waiting area where Rick and TC had just arrived. He collapsed onto one of the chairs, his friends on each side of him.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you?” TC asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Juliet—“</p><p> </p><p>Rick interrupted, “Is in great hands. But we’re asking how you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” The PI exhaled shakily. “I’m okay I guess. I’ve been so focused on Higgy….”</p><p> </p><p>TC placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, you kept calm, got her here, and now Doctor Kawai is gonna take care of her.”</p><p> </p><p>“You did good, brother. Take a breath.”</p><p> </p><p>An hour passed before the three men were updated on Higgins’ condition by Doctor Kawai.</p><p> </p><p>“Her headache, stomach pains, and lethargy were a result of dehydration which had been caused by the throwing up, likely on account of her extreme stress,” she told them. “We gave her intravenous fluids and something to settle her stomach, so we’re hoping that she’ll eat within the next twelve hours, even if it’s not a lot, and it’ll stay down. Otherwise, we’ll insert a feeding tube. I do plan on keeping her for the day and overnight, but you all can sit in her room until visiting hours are over.”</p><p> </p><p>Kawai led them to their friend’s room. She was awake and looking more alert than an hour ago. Magnum sat on the edge of the bed, Rick and TC in the chairs to the left.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p> </p><p>“Better.” She glanced at the other two men. “You guys didn’t have to come.”</p><p> </p><p>TC shook his head. “You know we’re always gonna be here for you, Higgy baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Always. We care about you as much as we do TM.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mahalo.” Higgins returned her attention to Magnum who grasped one of her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“You had me worried.”</p><p> </p><p>Her breath ceased momentarily because the underlying fear in his voice was undeniable.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry for scaring you,” she whispered. “I rarely allow my stress to get one over on me and on the limited occasions I have, it was never <em> this </em> bad. But I’m going to cut back on my workload for a bit to get a handle on myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“And if our business taking fewer cases will help, then—“</p><p> </p><p>“Thomas, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”</p><p> </p><p>He squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to. I want to help you, Higgy. However much time it takes. Whatever it means doing, I’ll do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“The same goes for us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever you need, Jules. We’ve got you,” Rick promised.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, I threw more of my personal trauma onto my poor Higgy because I love her so much and I’m always treating my faves terribly. In my defense for her defense, she has Magnum and her boys.</p><p>I’ll at least take a Thomas Magnum please. 🥺</p></blockquote></div></div>
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